How can I be angry,
How can I feel anything,
When I’ve got this Novocain running in my veins?

My eyes retreat
An unfocused gaze I learned
From watching my mother reconstructing her past

I feel tired and numb
Exhaustion without emotion
The alarm has gone off at the same hour for ten years now

If I were to fall apart
If I were to open up
Would the stitches rip out and leave me like some busted rag doll?

An open wound
Ten open wounds
I usually just cover myself over in bandages and glue

Ignore the bite marks on my lips
Forgive the nail prints in my skin
I’m not afraid of the pain, I’m afraid I’m a hurricane

I’m afraid of what I’ll do
Without these restraints
It isn’t discipline, you’re thinking, it’s self-preservation

But if I’m really storm and wind
If I spin out of control
I know there’s a light ahead

Even if I lose control
Even if I never let go
Even if I fail to spin at all
I know there’s a light ahead