I didn’t know how to feel
I didn’t know how to say what I felt
I didn’t know how to show you what I am
I didn’t know how to speak without lying

So I took the letters and formed them into words
On a white piece of paper, sterile and safe
Until I worked the alchemy known to no one but me
To turn words into weapons, to wound you, to bleed you

And I was the martyr who rose up against you
I was the survivor who poured gasoline on you
And danced in the dead light of a fire I ignited
I felt justified to hurt you, to burn you, to turn on you

Because I didn’t know how to feel
I didn’t know how to say what I felt
I didn’t know how to show you what I am
I didn’t know how to speak without lying

This love, it’s bitter and corrupt
This love, it’s ugly and used up
I won’t apologize, it wasn’t my fault
And now I’m addicted, now I am wicked
Now I know how to feel, I know what to say, I know what I am, I know how to speak, I know the truth
but I prefer the lie