Archive for the ‘Lyrics (ALL)’ Category

It’s a New Year


03 Jan

turn the faucet on too hot
til my skin is streaked with red
the pain feels like a friend
that’s why I got out of bed

rub the lotion on my skin
paint the roses on my face
bow at the altar of routine
I don’t know my mind, but I know my place

I don’t like myself today, and nothing’s gonna change it

It’s a new year but I’m not new
the weight of it all can’t be erased

it’s a new year but I’m not new
you can read the story on my face
I don’t know my mind, but I know my place

put on a fancy dress
slip on my best pair of heels
armoured up with glitter and gloss
so no can tell how I really feel

I don’t like myself today, and nothing’s gonna change it
It’s a new year but I’m not new
nothing’s gonna change it

Why Can’t We Be Happy?


28 Nov

It’s my choice to run, it’s my right to hide
if I don’t have the courage to murder my pride
I used to burn, I used to flame
then I used myself up and gave others the blame

why can’t we be happy?

I can resent the girls and the boys
for being cookie cutters, but we’re all someone’s toys
maybe it’s a scraped elbow or a busted knee
it’s all the same pain, now it’s up to me

why can’t we be happy?

I’ve got a choice
I can break or bend
I can doubt or trust
I can fight or defend

it’s up to me
I can take or I can give
if I want to feel alive
I’ve just got to live

why can’t we be happy?

Shotgun Shells


03 Oct

I’ve got a bag that I’ve got to drag around
it’s full of lead balls I dug out of my chest
when it gets too heavy I set it on the ground
but the more silent it gets, the less that I can rest

this one’s for the time you said I drove you to it
this one’s for the time you swore I made you do it
this one’s for the time you fired and took off running
this one’s for the time I trusted you and couldn’t see it coming

it’s throat is never far from my hand
recounting old debt that’s yet to be repaid
when I heard the shotgun shudder I planned to make a stand
but my scars still ache and I’m still too afraid

this one’s for the time you said I drove you to it
this one’s for the time you swore I made you do it
this one’s for the time you fired and took off running
this one’s for the time I trusted you and couldn’t see it coming

maybe tomorrow I’ll melt this old metal down
twist it into something new, wear it like a crown
regal as a queen when I see you coming with your gun
but I’m not ready yet, I only want to run

I’m not ready yet, I only want to run

Water Gone Dry


24 Aug

why don’t you drop me a letter?
well I guess no one writes on paper anymore
why don’t you amble down my street
for no reason, stop, and knock on my door?

why don’t we go to the ocean
and dip our toes into the sea?
we could search for bottles
the lost messages between you and me

why?
why has the water gone so dry?

why does it feel like it’s crumbling
when there’s so much to be done?
earthquakes and hurricanes rattle our bones
i keep thinking, we’re all too young

why do the planes shine on us
like surrogate stars?
in the city there are no constellations
just the pinpoint lights that bleed between the bars

why?
why has the water gone so dry?

the more I think I know
the less I understand
everything I’ve built keeps collapsing
towers in the sand

why?
why has the water gone so dry?

Tin Man


27 Jul

if I had a good heart I hope it would be good
yesterday, today, and tomorrow
but in your eyes, it twists and it lies
it’s an instrument of cruelty and sorrow

but I feel it beat inside, I feel it keeping time
with the breaths that bring me life, pulling in the oxygen
how can it be a bad thing, when my heart keeps beating
bringing the inspiration that makes the air worth breathing?

if I had a good heart I’d be there for you
you could call me up and I’d be at your door
sometimes I’d think of you and do something just because
but you don’t believe in my heart anymore

I feel it beat inside, I feel it keeping time
with the breaths that bring me life, pulling in the oxygen
how can it be a bad thing, when my heart keeps beating
bringing the inspiration that makes the air worth breathing

if I had a good heart…

My Mouth is a Graveyard


14 May

Last night’s makeup is blue, blue, blue
beneath my eyes
two wells within a crumbling disguise

Last night’s money was green, green, green
a crumpled bill
unintentional origami I’m unfolding still

and my mouth is a graveyard full of crooked tombs
my head is a hotel full of empty rooms
my mouth is a graveyard full of crooked tombs

Last night’s drinks were gold gold gold
within my throat
that spilled out lies and laughs enough to keep me afloat

Last night I was all red red red
a liquid fire
until daylight came and quenched all my desire

now my mouth is a graveyard full of crooked tombs
my head is a hotel full of empty rooms
my mouth is a graveyard full of crooked tombs

I don’t know why I do this
even while I do this I don’t know why

A New Refrain


05 May

I learned life doesn’t hand you gifts on a silver platter
despite what you think and know it owes to you
I was waiting for someone to take down the pieces that shattered
but it’s my mess to clean up or ignore or undo

so just take a deep breath and figure out what you want to do
cuz no one’s gonna do it for you

so what if it rains when you were hoping for sun
and no one recognizes your name?
there are still mysteries to unravel one by one
unless you’re too busy looking for someone to blame

so just take a deep breath and figure out what you want to do
cuz no one’s gonna do it for you

I couldn’t move but I learned to walk again
I couldn’t speak so I taught myself to sing
when you need the sun and all you get is the rain
swallow your pride and learn a new refrain

just take a deep breath and figure out what you want to do
cuz no one’s gonna do it for you

Shelter


07 Apr

Just outside my window
The river is pouring into the sea
With sun sparkling on the water
Beckoning, come dance with me

I’ll get swept up in the current
And washed out of the harbor
Mingling with the flotsam
Learning to breathe underwater

Then I’ll float through the reefs
In glaring sun and pounding storm
I’ll stare up at the sky
Never cold and never warm

Until I wash up on some beach
With seaweed tangled in my hair
And sand clinging to my skin
It doesn’t matter when or where

I’ll build a shelter
I’ll build a shelter
I’ll build a shelter
No one will find me there

No one will find me there
And try to force me in a mold
No one will find me there
And make me choose to stay or go

No one will split my heart in two
and squeeze the pieces into dust
No one will find me there
and make me choose between my love

I’ll build a shelter
I’ll build a shelter
I’ll build a shelter
No one will find me there

Roads


29 Mar

remember when the night was full of stars?
we’d go up to the roof with our guitars
and play until our fingers bore the scars

when we were young there were no roads
in the empty lot where the wildflowers grow
we’d run in circles until we made our own

so let’s take the road from New York City
up to the mountains, down through the valleys
let’s take the road that no one knows
no one knows,  it’s our own

we’ll outpace the rhythm of regret
we’re all broke, but we’re not finished yet
there are still some stars and roads we haven’t met

so let’s take the road from New York City
up to the mountains, down through the valleys
let’s take the road that no one knows
no one knows, it’s our own
no one knows, it’s our road

The Sun and the Sting


19 Mar

Somewhere along the way I lost myself
in feelings of shame at my wants and desires
I dressed myself in stone and I receded beneath it
until only the embers glowed within my banked fires

flowers don’t grow in shadowed back alleys
they don’t open for the rain and sun and bees
if they don’t wither in the storm or open to the sun
no life will be risked or stolen or begun

so I’m chipping at myself with a chisel and hammer
what’s underneath will be a scarred, shrunken seed
and the first shaft of light will burn like a blowtorch
while I am revealed naked in my need

flowers don’t grow in shadowed back alleys
they don’t open for the rain and sun and bees
if they don’t wither in the storm or open to the sun
no life will be risked or stolen or begun

my tender skin released from its armor
will drink the world in with newborn abandon
it’s worth everything, the pain of exposure
as I relight the world with a single late bloom
as I meet the world, both the sun and the sting

Worlds


11 Mar

Some people walk beside the Seine
And send their photos home
They saunter along cobblestone streets
And forget to turn on their phones

If I can’t find new worlds I’ll just have to make my own
If I can’t find new worlds I’ll just have to make my own

Some people go to coliseums
and do what you’re supposed to do, when in Rome
or ride gondolas in Venice
slipping like shadows between water and stone

If I can’t find new worlds I’ll just have to make my own
If I can’t find new worlds I’ll just have to make my own

So show me your pictures of castles and towers
Show me the rainforest filled with strange flowers
Show me a wild bird winging for home
If I can’t leave this world, I’ll just make my own
If I can’t leave this world, I’ll just make my own

If I can’t find new worlds I’ll just have to make my own
If I can’t find new worlds I’ll just have to make my own
I’ll just have to make my own

Chances


14 Feb

the chance to make mistakes
the time to lose my way
to find a kindred soul
or choose to throw it all away

to learn from the past
or to scrape my knee
I could walk in circles
or dance around with destiny

maybe there’s no meaning to it all
this relentless need to rise and to fall
these chances to fail and to succeed
maybe the outcome isn’t as important as the deed

people always fight
and break each other’s hearts
but sometimes we are kind
or we find solace in playing a part

how can we be so cruel?
how can we be so sublime?
there’s no shadow without light
there’s no change without time

maybe there’s no meaning to it all
this relentless need to rise and to fall
these chances to fail and to succeed
maybe the outcome isn’t as important as the deed

I’ve wasted years trying to understand
to stop the hourglass and count the sand
to find the words for why we break and why we bleed
maybe the outcome’s less important than the deed

Lost in the City


01 Feb

lost in the city, no one will find me
lost in the city, no one will find me

don’t make the mistakes of your mother
this place will swallow you whole
it will take all the ravens that once soared for you
and leave you with nothing but bones

lost in the city, no one will find me
lost in the city, no one will find me

i worry every night about you
how you’ll eat, how you’ll survive
when you were a kid the monsters never found you
but now I fear they’re eating you alive

lost in the city, no one will find me
lost in the city, no one will find me

but go
i know
you must go
i know
i can only pray, i can only hope
and let you go
i know you need to go

lost in the city, no one will find me
lost in the city, no one will find me
lost in the city
lost

Repeat


01 Feb

i tried to remember my dream
i knew it was important, but i lost it
in the dim haze between waking and sleep
i reviewed it and then forgot it

the pressure is coming on from all sides now
but i endure it and i push back
there’s a gemstone hidden within me somewhere
or there’s a dark stone that will bleed and crack

everything says that i should be happy
but all i see is another mountain to climb
and i’m not a saintly maria spinning hardship into song
i’m a puppet, i’m a busker, i’m a mime

so give me another task i can’t complete
chain me to a stone on the ocean
and tell me to count the grains of sand on the beach
or the bubbles bursting softly into foam

everything says that i should be happy
but all i see is another day to defeat
at best i’m just a slave to the wheel
but there’s no cage and there’s no rage, only repeat

repeat, repeat, repeat

if i break, if i bleed
i’ll awake again with what you need
and there’s no chain, there’s no cage
only repeat

repeat, repeat, repeat

Pandora


10 Jan

I haven’t felt like picking up my pen
I haven’t felt like picking up my room
I’ve felt like losing myself in someone else’s stories
Cuz my reality isn’t rosy or even doom and gloom
It’s just a collection of habits and routines
That I go through because I have to
And oh when I was 16 I had a hundred stupid dreams
But people change and the world keeps rushing in
Like the ocean waves crashing relentlessly until we give in

I don’t want to go out on the road anymore
I don’t want to play to Carnegie Hall
I’m tired of my proud thinking and impossible standards
Believing somehow I can rise above it all
It’s just a build-up of compromise and disappointment
An ant hill that grew into a mountain
And oh when I was 16 I had a hundred stupid dreams
But people change and sometimes I think I don’t want anything
Or that’s the lie I tell myself while I keep writing and writing and fighting

I am coiled up so tight inside
I don’t ever want to be set loose
I’m afraid of what would happen if I lost control
Better to leave Pandora’s Box unopened, unused
I thought someday all the pressure would turn my coal into a diamond
But I fear it’s just grinding me to dust
And oh when I was 16 I had a hundred stupid dreams
But people change and I’m not saying this to gain your sympathy
I just don’t know why I’m still sitting here again, writing and writing and fighting

When you don’t want to hear another sad song
And I don’t want another struggle with my muse
If only life gave us what we asked for
Instead of forcing us to guess and choose
a, b, c, d, or all of the above, or none of the above
or maybe I’ll just leave the answer blank

The Act and The Intention


22 Sep

There’s a sullen whispering in the trees
Stirred by the fallen angel in the leaves
The streetlights used to glow only for me
Now they’re pale, broken, and diseased

I always want the wrong thing at the wrong time
It’s safer to want impossibilities
It’s the same as not wanting anything
If I said I don’t want anything, would you believe me?

The sky is crowded with the tempest brewing
Even Mother Nature is confused by what she’s doing
All the puddles were full of phantom rainbows
Now they’re muddy, colorless, and ruined

I always want the wrong thing at the wrong time
It’s safer to want impossibilities
It’s the same as not wanting anything
If I said I don’t want anything, would you believe me?

I’m a ball of fear
In aimless rotation
Knock me out of my ellipse
Be the god of my creation
Unless it’s divine
It’s a pointless intervention
And I’ll be just fine
Between the act and the intention

I always want the wrong thing at the wrong time
It’s safer to want impossibilities
It’s the same as not wanting anything
If I said I don’t want anything, would you believe me?

Until, until, until


29 Aug

I can feel every cell beating, beating
it’s not safe to be so sensitive- bleeding, bleeding
and the words don’t look the same in my head, in my head
Now all I see is blue, before it was red, it was red

I don’t know if I want it to hurt less or more
I want to feel alive
but there’s pills for that
there’s something I can take
to escape while still living my life
but I want to feel alive

So I pray some days to nothing, to nothing
just to feel my hands like two birds fluttering, fluttering
the ritual is dead but still somehow breathing, breathing
and for the first time I’m not afraid of needing, needing

I don’t know if I want it to hurt less or more
I want to feel alive
but there’s pills for that
there’s something I can take
to escape while still living my life
but I want to feel alive

I don’t see ghosts
I see myself one, two, three years ago
I don’t see ghosts
I see you one, two, three years ago

in the circles we run at the end of our leashes and chains
in the metal we forged to pull us into and out of this pain
I pulled the petals, loves me, loves me not, let’s try this again
I pulled the petals, loves me not, loves me, let’s try this again
let’s try this again

until one day I wake up and I don’t care anymore
until one day I wake up and I don’t care
until one day I wake up
until one day
until
until
until

Unsealed


20 Aug

If I cry you’ll give me something to cry about
If I’m in a rage you’ll play the martyr with a sullen pout
If I am terrified you’ll say, “Hey, it’s no big deal.”
Everyone’s been telling me all my life not to feel what I feel

If I am anxious you’ll tell me to get it out of my head
If I can’t sleep for worry you’ll send me back to bed
If I am wounded you’ll say, “There’s nothing that time won’t heal.”
Everyone’s been telling me all my life not to feel what I feel

So I’m like a coat of paint peeling in the sun
I’m like a child’s game that’s slowly lost all its fun
I’m like a love letter that’s never been unsealed
but everyone’s been telling me all my life not to feel what I feel

My Body Betrays Me


15 Aug

I expect betrayal from the people that I know
cuz people always fail, friends will come and go
but my body’s the one, the one that I can’t trust
my body talks behind my back before it stabs me in the gut

and it’s doing things I would never have believed
sometimes I win the fight, sometimes it brings me to my knees

a deep breath, I can feel fire leap between my palms
a deep breath, we’ll call it a truce if I can just keep hanging on
a deep breath, I can feel oceans rise and then recede
a deep breath, I don’t know whether to hate or love what’s inside of me

every day’s a struggle but I smile on the street
I keep my enemies close and now the secret lives in me
the pills and the needles, the scalpels and IVs
I keep closing my eyes and thinking “this cannot be me”

but when I open my eyes I feel the same
a prisoner held captive by fear and pain

then a deep breath, and I can feel fire leap between my palms
a deep breath, we’ll call this a truce if I can just keep hanging on
a deep breath, I can feel oceans rise and then recede
a deep breath, I don’t know whether to hate or love what’s inside of me

when my body betrays me, I don’t know whether to hate or love
what’s inside of me

Retold by Machines


06 Aug

I don’t want to be fed to a machine
I don’t want the wrinkles ironed out
I don’t want the smudges laundered clean

I don’t want to tumble at someone’s command
I don’t want to be somebody’s doll
dressed up and blinking on demand

I want my flaws to read like braille
I want to be proud when I succeed and even prouder when I fail
I’ll be holy, I’ll be obscene
But I’ll never be bottled and retold by some machine

I don’t want the money to be my king
I don’t want to bow down at his throne
I don’t want to question why I sing

I don’t want the pretense to pass for art
I don’t want to dress it up or hide it
when something’s broken my heart

I want my flaws to read like braille
I want to be proud when I succeed and even prouder when I fail
I’ll be holy, I’ll be obscene
But I’ll never be bottled and retold by some machine

and this is why I’m not impressed by the things that you adore
this is why my radio’s in pieces on the floor
this is why I hesitate at an open door

I don’t want to be fed to a machine
I don’t want the smudges laundered clean
I don’t want the money to be my king
I’ll never be bottled and retold by some machine

Jessi Robertson: Lyrics

Drawing pretty things